word pressed

I’m pressed for words, I’ve don’t know what was it that I first wanted to type. I know it had something to do with gratitude, and how I’m thankful for this entire year. But somewhere along the line they gave way to dashes. Understanding, do you understand this? I want to be happy, yet happiness live love too is a decision, no not that, I want to be self controlled. I want to be able to relax…I feel so tensed all the time. I feel like I don’t have enough time all the time and even when I do the time is like knotted muscles. Tensed. I wish I could make that past tense. Present. No wrapped up decked up halls. This has got to be one of the most quiet Christmas I had, and I really don’t mind, don’t mind at all.