I don’t know..don’t know why this self destructive behavior and why do I let it be so intrinsic. Maybe it’s because I like to watch my toes bleed. Maybe it’s the slow heal that makes me realise that there at least is something more.
I want you to not want me but I still want you. I realised why… this evening and it scares me, I don’t want to leave here.. I’m not looking forward to returning. I still want to stay with you and know so much more about you, the lanes the quiet mornings… your smile amidst the harbour and how I always knew it was you when silently watching from behind.
smile when the waterbeds are dry
and your tongue sticks to the roof
and you can’t speak the brazen confession
now looping, unable to pause between
fast forward and rewind
smoking pencil thin chimneys
the lead lining tracts
of rails leading through brick walls
where in between the cracks
vines that have conquered gravity
scale like kittens on rooftops
paws the colour of silver
flash and wave, strings of morse
signals to strangers in the night
keep to alleys and quiet ways
where mice make humble
houses beneath palaces
but still warm without the need for
mass advertising of false lives
with families and children that
will never call their house a home
